Building Bridges Instead Of Burning Them
We’ve all seen how contentious the mask issue is currently in the United States. It’s a smaller issue in the world of disagreement over the COVID-19 Coronavirus. Daily, it seems, there are new videos of someone yelling at another person because they refuse to wear a mask. Daily, it seems, there are videos of someone yelling at someone else because they are being asked to wear a mask. People either see masks as something necessary for civilization to rebound and continue to progress or a massive, controlling infringement on their rights. Conflict over masks, COVID-19, and our political situation seems to be growing. Unfortunately, few people seem to be interested in finding common ground, changing hearts and minds, and building bridges instead of burning them.
Shaming, Criticising, And Attacking Or Empathy, Respect, And Love
Erica Etelson recently had an article posted entitled Mask-Shaming Won’t Work. Try These 5 Things Instead. The point of the article is that shaming, criticising, and attacking those who disagree with us will not change hearts and minds. These things are not productive, helpful, or beneficial.
The five things suggested are using credible messengers, being culturally appropriate, leaning into people’s desires to protect their own, presenting clear information, and following up with empathy. In other words, it is more effective to approach problems and disagreement with empathy, respect, and love finding and building on common ground.
What has your experience been? Do people respond better to respect, empathy, and love, or criticism, mocking, and contempt? Which do you respond to better?
When we come at things from a perspective of respect, empathy, and love, we will generally want the best for everyone involved. We want others to succeed and have the best results possible. We want this for ourselves and for others.
Building Bridges On Common Ground: A Win-Win
When we want the best for everyone we are more likely to try to find shared interests. Once we have shared interests, or common ground, we have a place we can build from. Once we have common ground we can build on, we can build bridges.
Most people want similar things, they just disagree how to achieve the goal. For example, most people want everyone to have the best health care possible. Some people think universal government health care is the best option. Others think freeing the market by reducing regulation will have the best result. Both sides are so certain their way is right, and only their way, that they are not willing to listen to any other approach, or even consider compromise.
Often compromise will help people find an agreeable solution. Sometimes though, it won’t. In some instances, it’s better to simply agree on specific items. For example, if someone who favours universal government health care were to list 10 changes they would like to see in the health care system, and someone who prefers a free market solution were also to list 10 changes, they might find that 4 out of 10 items are on both their lists. Start there! These aren’t areas of compromise, they are common ground!
Building Bridges And A Launch Pad
By starting with the areas where there is common ground, it starts things moving in the direction of solving the problem. Building on common ground will also help build the trust key to compromising, if compromise is necessary.
When we see there is common ground, when we build trust, it is much easier for people to work together. Most, if not all of us, have had experiences where we did not like a co-worker and that person didn’t like us either. Did you let that mutual dislike cause problems? My experience is that if we are willing to find common ground and build trust, people can work together positively without having to like each other.
Respect, empathy, and love, are important parts of opening ourselves to finding a win-win common ground solution. Disliking someone is not a legitimate hurdle that should prevent us from building bridges. When we build bridges, we allow for progress. Burning bridges causes damage and limitations. Whatever the problem we face, building bridges on common ground will lead to more effective, longer lasting, happier solutions. Our common ground can become a launch pad for greater things to come.
What is a situation in your life where you can try harder to build a bridge on common ground? Whatever that situation is, building bridges will work better than burning bridges or seeking a solution through force.
Garrett Leeds is the founder of the Life, Liberty, and Pursuit of Happiness Project
If you would like to support the Life, Liberty, And Pursuit Of Happiness Project, please consider contributing to LLPHP via GoFundMe
